On intense discomfort

To Spirit:

Spirit,

Please help me. I do not understand why my experience is so intense, so often. I’m feeling so much physical discomfort, and it feels connected to fear. I am watching it with you, and I’m trying not to fight it, but it feels so intense that it is hard to not react to it. I feel like crawling out of my skin. I feel like seeking out a way to numb. I feel like trying to go to sleep to get away from it. Spirit, please help me see this as you would have me see it. Please help me to do whatever is best with this.

Spirit, please help me.

From Spirit:

My child,

Your ego is having intense reactions to the forgiveness work you are doing. This is the best it can do to still convince you of its reality. And you see that it is still somewhat effective in doing this. It took incredible discomfort to cause the mind to think it needed to create the body, and as you work back to the point of realizing you never left your home, you feel the memory of how intensely scared you were and how badly you had to “get away.” You feel like you want to “get away” from your body now, but really it has always been you wanting to get away from your self - from this small self that you thought you had become, and all the guilt you thought was yours. It felt awful! It still feels awful. It’s running the whole dream.

Continue to look at it with me. Continue to let me remind you this is not what you really are. You are only intensely effected in your dream experience due to your own beliefs. By continuing to bring this to me you are changing your belief about yourself. The intense discomfort will seem to change as you change your belief, as it will be recognized as belonging to the part of your mind that is sick and illusory.

It will seem that it belongs to you so long as you wish to still be the illusory dream character. The intense discomfort is due to this desire and the guilt you feel about it. The way out is not in shaming yourself for still wanting this. The whole way out is in the practice you have already learned and are mastering.

Notice the discomfort, remember it is due to thinking you have separated from God, and then remember to look and gently laugh with me.

Do not let the intensity dissuade you. It is an intensely fearful dream that you are allowing yourself to release. It is not a sign you are doing something wrong.