Letters To and From Spirit
I don’t know how to feel like I’m not all alone. I know my self can’t really understand, but I’d like to be able to trust and feel less distressed about what seems to be. This sense of being all alone with no one to help is clearly an ego thought, as I do know you’re helping me. But ego says it’s only me helping myself, and it’s right, but this makes me sad. I don’t know what to do with this. Please help me see it as you would have me see it.
Spirit, please help me.
You are correct in your understanding that your self cannot fully understand this. Your self is not real, but in her experience she really does seem to be all alone! In this way your ego is right. Your little self is contained in a finite body, with boundaries and limitations that keep it from ever being able to fully join with another. The dream character is doomed to experience this so long as she thinks she is experiencing something. She will experience moments of seeming “joining” as all bodies do, only to find that she is ultimately separated again. And so long as you believe you are her you will have this sense that you are separate and that something is not right. You sense it is not right because it is not what God wills for you.
What God wills for you is an experience of oneness and connection that far surpasses any sense of connection your self is able to achieve. In this oneness the concept of “alone” does not make sense. How can one be alone when there is only one? Your self’s concept of being “alone” is distressing because there seem to be others that the self wishes to join with. There can be no sense of “alone” without separate others. You have had an experience of this so that you will be aided in your trust. Remember your experience of revelation, and how you could sense everyone you ever knew plus everyone who had ever existed were present and all connected? And how you felt distress while you were fighting the connection and trying to stay separate? And then as you relaxed into it you could hear me gently whispering in your ear. You were not alone. But your ego interpreted it as alone, even “cosmically alone,” and it has been terrified ever since.
This terror is the original terror of the ego. Remember that atonement is correcting the belief that the separation happened at all. It is only through atonement that you will gradually feel less distressed about your seeming experience of separate alone-ness. When you find yourself getting upset about it, bring it to me and let me gently whisper in your ear again to help you relax. It is only your own fear doing this to you, but in truth nothing has been done and I will help remind you of this.
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