On apathy

To Spirit:

Spirit,

I feel this apathy. Every morning I wake up and think “must I really do this again?” There is not much joy in my mind, not much pep in my step. I do not know what anything is for, and yet I find myself judging myself for this. Where are the gifts of God? Why won’t I claim them? Will I ever feel joy? Spirit, please help me let go of the attachment to thinking I know what is best. Please help me look upon this with your interpretation. Please help me forgive.

Spirit, please help me.

From Spirit:

My child,

Your apathy is a gift to remind you you are somewhere undeserving of you. Like everything else in the dream, when looked upon with me it serves as a gentle reminder. When looked upon with your ego it serves as a way to attack yourself and feel guilty. Look at it with me each morning. Do not judge yourself for feeling lack of enthusiasm about this world. You are merely noticing all it does not offer you. Your experience of joy will come only from letting me remind you that this is not your true home. And you will continue to choose apathy as long as you believe still that there is something to be gained through being separate. This is not anything to fear, worry about, or judge. You only seem to delay your own experience of joy, and the true you has never had joy interrupted. Notice the dream character is apathetic. Notice she lacks joy. And rejoice because she is not you. How fortunate that you could not really destroy heaven and create your own world! How joyful that you have this apathy to remind you of your choice. And how much grace has God given in giving you me so you are never truly lost. Here is your joy.